Learned helplessness will hold you back from building healthy habits and changing your life.
By setting big goals or standards that you fail to keep, you teach yourself that you're a failure. You lose the sense of joy you used to feel in pursuing your aspirations, you lose trust in yourself, and...
As an addiction recovery coach, I work with a lot of people who could benefit from some more willpower. We all want it: The strength of will to carry out one’s decisions, wishes, or plans. But we never seem to have enough of it, and we don’t know how to get more of it.
Ego depletion...
As an addiction recovery coach, I work with a lot of people whose lives aren’t what they want them to be. For addicts, the relationship between their addiction and the quality of the rest of their lives runs in both directions. The more they use, the worse every aspect of their lives...
The best book I've ever encountered on understanding habits is Tiny Habits by behavioral scientist and Stanford professor BJ Fogg. Many other authors, such as James Clear of Atomic Habits, have learned from BJ Fogg's own research on human behavior. But for my money, I'd rather learn...
You might not be using porn anymore, but are you still cheating yourself out of full recovery? A subscriber requested that I cover "porn adjacent" content or "porn substitutes", as I call them. Here we go.
Anon's words are in italics. My comments and responses are in bold.
I've got a letter from a recovering porn addict who is doing really well in his own journey. However, he has begun to see the same changes in his nephew that he saw in himself when he got hooked on porn at a young age. What can he do about it?
Anon's letter
Hey Noah, I was at my sister's house...
I've got a letter from a young man who for most of his life has used porn and experience PIED. Several times he has gotten good streaks and experienced great benefits, but he continues to relapse and go back to his old ways.
I've got a letter from a 17-year-old guy who's managed to heal from his crippling porn-induced erectile dysfunction. Let's see how he did it!
Anon's words are in italics. My comments and responses are in bold.
First of all, I want to thank you and the no fap/porn recovery community. You guys...
Anon's words are in italics. My comments and responses are in bold.
My porn addiction started when l was in final year at basic school. I was ignorant of the...
I have some Google Alerts set up so that I am notified when new studies emerge, when I or my work is mentioned on the Webs, or when someone gives really dumb advice about porn use. I got a pop on that third one recently.
Zachary Zane, author of Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto, writes...
