This Is What Healing PIED Looks Like

I've got a letter today from a young man who couldn't have sex with his beautiful girlfriend. He did the research, connected the dots, and understood he was dealing with porn-induced erectile dysfunction. So he did something about it.

Anon's words are in italics. My comments and responses are in bold.

Hey Noah,

I wanted to thank you for the great work that you do for men struggling with porn addiction, and your effort to raise awareness of porn induced sexual dysfunction. I discovered your channel early on in my journey, and your success stories and motivational content was a huge help to me. Here's my story.

I'm 18 about to turn 19, and was first exposed to porn young, around age 10. It was something that I was aware of and knew that I enjoyed watching, but was far too young to understand what any of it meant.

Unfortunately that is the common adolescent experience now. The producers of porn don't care that kids are watching their stuff and getting hooked. The purveyors of porn WANT it to happen. Your parents care but aren't prepared to educate or help you. Your society failed you as a child. That sucks and I'm sorry.

It wasn't until I hit puberty around age 14 that I became a regular user. I would masturbate to porn on a daily basis in the following years, up until about 3 months ago. In these years I had a few sexual partners, but we never really attempted intercourse for whatever reason.

The growth of your porn habits can feel slow but in retrospect happens quite quickly. It's difficult to tell just how it affects you when it's happening because you're going through puberty and change is to be expected. Camouflaged within that dynamic time of your life, a porn addiction is allowed to take root unnoticed.

About three months ago I met a girl, my now girlfriend, and we were really into each other. We were hanging out a lot, and things started heating up. One thing led to another and we go to do the deed, and I'm limp. I can't get it up at all. We decide to just keep making out. After we finish, I'm extremely embarrassed and feel emasculated. I apologize and she asks me if it's her. I reassure her it's not, and told her that I'm gonna figure out what's wrong with me. After this experience I became aware of the nofap community and PIED through obsessive research. I get a gut feeling, it has to be this.

I am very glad that there is enough truth out there now that men like you can find actual helpful guidance on what's happening and how to fix it. The porn industry may have victimized you and society may have failed you, but there are some of us out here who want the best for you.

It is also worth mentioning, I was smoking weed near daily at the time too. I decided to quit both cold turkey. I began to prioritize my health. I started working out three times a week, eating a balanced diet focusing on whole foods, always staying hydrated, and protecting my 8 hours of sleep every night. I've gotten in great shape the past few months.

That's awesome! I often see that stopping one's porn use is often a keystone change that inspires a slew of other positive life changes. Keep up that momentum.

Me and my girl had a multiple experiences like the one I just detailed, but I didn't tell her about nofap and PIED until about a month into the detox. I wanted to have progress to show, so she knew that I really meant it when I said that I'd figure out what the issue was. When I told her, she was upset but very supportive. She said that she loved that I was honest with her and taking initiative to change, but if I ever "relapsed" she'd be hurt. I promised her that I wouldn't, and I haven't so far in my journey. I don't intend to.

Congratulations on having the courage to talk to her about this. It often does go really well like you describe. Here's a video on how to have that conversation with a lover.

It wasn't until about a week ago that I've been able to maintain erections and have intercourse. When it finally happened, we were overjoyed. We've been able to have sex three times since then. Being in better shape has also led to significantly better sex. I don't get tired on top. This journey has built a lot of trust and brought us close together. She's been great and I couldn't have asked for a better person to go through this with. Thank you Noah and thank you to my girlfriend. I felt hopeless and worthless in the flatline, and now I've never felt better.

Thank you for sharing your story with us my friend. I know it'll inspire others out there to keep moving forward when they are struggling.

One last word of caution to you. You can live the rest of your life pornfree. But I also sometimes see men like you who have recovered open that door to porn again. Maybe they got broken up with and they're feeling lonely and depressed. Or it's just been so long since they looked at porn that they've gotten complacent. But once open, that door is very hard to close again. And your previous porn-related problems can come rushing back.